TRA Gratitude Project: Days 4 – 7 (Belated)

November 11th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

BookCover-FindAStranger150x150To catch up on the Gratitude Project, I will cover a few days at a time. I must admit that using micro-blogging sites like Twitter and Facebook makes it easy to pop up a gratitude statement each day. However, I'm hoping that you are returning here, dear readers, for the explanations WHY I'm grateful. Day 4: I'm thankful for adoption resources: books, blogs, etc. Even when I was growing up in the 70's and 80's, there were SOME books about adoption. Now there are multitudes of places to turn. Adoptive parents just have to search them out. I live in western Massachusetts and towns can get pretty spread out from here to there. But even in Western Mass, I've found a surprising amount… [more]

TRA Gratitude Project: Day 3

November 3rd, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

MtAiry-1970sIn my previous post, I explain why thanksgiving and gratitude is important to me. And because this is National Adoption Month, I will continue on with my gratitude project "30 Things I'm Grateful/Thankful For..." -- Adoption Edition! Day 3: I'm thankful for the neighborhood where I grew up. It's still a pretty awesome place. I'm a native Philadelphian. Born and raised. And even though I definitely had no control over this, I'm so thankful for my parents' choice of where to live in the greater Philadelphia area. My neighborhood was West Mount Airy -- a northwest section within the city limits of Philadelphia. It's south of Chestnut Hill and north of Germantown. It is famous for its diversity across all categories… [more]

Why Do Grandmothers Give Their Grandchildren Away?

October 3rd, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

A couple of weeks ago, I had the pleasure of seeing Joyce Maguire Pavao in London. When I traveled the United States in Spring 2012 on a Winston Churchill Travel Fellowship, making contact with Joyce was central to my project being a success. She opened up professional networks to me that I would have otherwise had no contact with. For me, Joyce became a mentor. Her enthusiasm and support meant a great deal. More than that, I’m very glad to have made a good friend in Joyce. It was Joyce that said to me “You not only need to ask the grandmothers who decided to keep their grand-children why they did that, you need to ask the grandmothers who decided to give to give… [more]

Again and Again I say, “Prepare!”

September 30th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

CIRCLE OF FRIENDSThe most important first step in beginning a search for birth parents is easier said than done. To skip it, however, could make all the difference in your outcome reaction. The importance of being emotionally strengthened and prepared cannot be overemphasized. Search and Reunion Issues, written for the counselor, can be a great help for those seeking counsel. Hopefully, if you've gotten this far on the Adoption.com website, you know the search is not always easy and it does not always meet with hopes and expectations. Sometimes, it leads to dead ends, other times, it leads to what some have labeled, a 'second rejection',  a term I greatly dislike that assumes putting a child up… [more]

She Had The Strength Of Lions

September 18th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

I said in my first blog posting that what I will be writing will be in no way linear, so I’m going to come right up to recent history today. Writing this is part-catharsis. I’ve been in a hell of a place in the past couple of months, and that will probably be of no surprise when I explain. On the 23rd of June 2013, after suffering for 30+ years with multiple sclerosis, my birth mother Sandra died in hospital. As she drew her last breath her husband Peter was there, as was I, and my partner too. I’ve never seen someone die in front of me, and Sandra was the one person that I had the most complicated relationship with. That all… [more]

Persistence Pays Off Part II

September 11th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

mirrors"Some of us are searching for our  past...for a mirror to our being...”-Rebecca Tillou The Ghost Within: Everyday I see her Glimpses of black hair to her shoulder, wavy, free Dark Brown eyes A mirror to my rejected, lost soul Every day I hear her A laugh that Echoes mine Words, apologies, soft and sincere I am sorry I did what is best Please forgive me Let's be friends. She is seen and heard In the confines of my mind I can't touch her She can't hold me I think of her Her being walks right through me I am left alone in the corner Tears falling from my eyes A lost child. -Rebecca Tillou I found the last known address for my birth mom on the search site I had been using, and sent out a letter with our photos side by side.  The next… [more]

Working Out Who I Was

September 9th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

Hi, my name is Leon and this is my first blog for Adoption Blogs. I wasn't too sure how to start my story, and I've no doubt I'll jump all over the place over the coming months as my memory is in no way linear. I thought I'd begin by describing that moment in childhood where I understood who I was within my own family. My adoption story is one of kinship care. Unusually, I was adopted by my grandparents.  I say unusually because while many grandparents, other relatives and family friends often will step into the parental role with children, these arrangements are not usually through the formal adoption route like mine was. In the United States, it's estimated there are some… [more]

View from the Cabbage Patch pt 2

July 24th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee
Categories: Ages & Stages

loisIn the last post I introduced myself to you. I forgot to include an important part of my adoption story. My parents were over forty when they adopted me. For the most part this was not a big deal but as I do some research it seems they were ahead of the curve as older adoptive parents. This is now an accepted practice rather than an exception. First let me give you some background. My dad was a veteran of WWII and worked as a supervisor in a garage for a large trucking company. He wasn’t the typical management type…he just knew more than the rest of the mechanics. My mom was a stay at home wife who took great pride in her… [more]

View from the Cabbage Patch

July 16th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

cabbageCabbage Patch? That’s where my parents told me I was from. It seems the stork dropped me off in Ohio in their cabbage patch, their special little girl. How many of us have been told a tall tale about our arrival? There are lots of stories our parents told us: we came from Heaven, delivered by the stork, found behind a cloud or just plain, “a miracle.” I like to think I arrived because I had a birth mother who realized she could not take care of me anymore and she did the right thing. Many years later I would learn this was, in fact, the situation. Immediately after arrival, how were you received? Were you old enough to remember those first few days? … [more]

The Truth Hurts

May 16th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

Adopted AbbyAfter adopting me, my parents had continued to do foster care and over the course of my young life many children had come and gone from our home. This specific story centers on a brother and sister who came to live with us during my early adolescence. The brother was my age and the sister only a year our junior. The brother and I had hit it off and enjoyed the same outdoor activities and had become great friends. The sister struggled with the kindred relationship he and I shared and was constantly jealous and felt left out of our adventures. I can still close my eyes and smell the earthy aromas of the soil, fall leaves, and birch trees that filled… [more]