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I guess this eyebrow-furrowing phenomenon might come from the fact that we Americans often extol the virtues of exchange and sharing ideas. We idolize conversation, debate, protracted salubrious spittle-infested blather. We cherish our soap boxes and our pseudo-mediatory dialogue with equal relish. And yet, in our modern incarnation, we find it incredibly difficult to actually read what someone... more

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I’ve addressed the whole ‘denial’ thing before. I find the accusation a lame attempt at somehow discrediting me and/or any other relatively happy adoptees simply for not being miserable, for not adding to their basis for rationalizing that adoption is, in general, a horrible thing because... more

It seems as though what made it to the bottom of the mountain after my avalanche of words trying to clarify truly adoption related ‘issues’ and how well the majority of adoptees are adjusted (or not), was that my perspective marginalizes and robs adoptees and birth parents who are traumatized by their adoption experience and/or ‘working through’ their problems from the same. Apparently, I am insensitive with completely unfair, judgmental and unrealistic perceptions of the ‘issues’ plaguing adoptees. There are those convinced that... more

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So I have just one favor to ask of you. It’s not really a favor to me. It is a favor to your self.

Go to a quiet place, both physically and as much as possible, mentally. Think about each of the things that make you angry about being adopted, the things that have plagued you and made you feel so alone your whole life. I mean REALLY think about them. Break each one down to their... more

[Continued from HERE.] Here are more pitfalls to hop over in parent land...

Sibling Rivalry/Jealously This is such a normal thing, but the adoption factor can add a level if there is an adopted/biological mix in your family. Don’t be surprised though, if the jealousy is not coming from the adoptee child. (... more

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There are some specific pit-falls that I know can lead down the “woe-is-adopted-me” path. Some of these holes that could swallow your adoptee (and you) whole are:

BE HONEST! If you haven’t told your child they were adopted by now, and your child is more than eight years old: DO IT NOW!!! And please, don’t just hand your kid a book and say ‘read this’... more

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Unlike the era of Swift and his Gulliver, we are alive in a century where exists miraculous communication technology that has shrunk the globe and created torrential rivers of information never before attainable without many years, much money and endless effort. Unfortunately, the information has not yet been harnessed to banish ignorance and the resultant ‘isms’ it creates (racism,... more

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The issues three hundred years ago and the issues faced today have different veneers but the same old essential, "human nature" tag for behavior that is really sub-human. It’s sometimes even sub-animal. Animal behavior tends to be logical, as it is all about survival not greed, ego and judgment. Our behavior around the world today is truly Yahoo. Poor Gulliver. He knew it, even in 1714.

To... more

I just finished reading the classic, Gulliver’s Travels. I am not sure why I hadn’t ever got to this brilliant book before, but now that I have read it, better late than never definitely seems to apply. I found it as thoroughly engrossing a satire as has ever been written. Thoroughly engrossing, and equally disturbing.

This is a book written in Ireland circa the early 1700’s. In his magnificent and perhaps mischievous races, with sometimes-bovine faces, Jonathan Swift was poking his... more

[Continued from HERE.] From my point of view, the need for unhappy adoptees to believe that happy adoptees will someday be just as miserable as they are about being adopted is yet one more indicator of the “human” part of human nature. It is the same part that causes those who are quite devout in their religion to be dismissive of anyone else that is equally devout but to a different religion,... more