I often wondered why some adoptive parents were concerned and worried for their children to look for their birth mothers. After experiencing rejection from my birth mother myself and talking with others that have also experienced rejection, I realized something. Our parents (adoptive) want to protect us from any possible hurt so with the uncertainty that reunion can bring can be a scary thought for parents.

As an adoptive mother knowing the pain the rejection can bring, I want to protect my own children. Not all adoptees have the “ideal” birth mother that is just a fact of life. My adopted children’s birth mother did not visit, make contact, call to check on them or anything else... more

The fear of being rejected is probably the greatest fear of an adoptee. Some adoptees feel the first rejection was at birth so in their eyes it can happen again. No one likes to be rejected. The feelings that an adoptees may feel is that they are not good enough and are unloved when they feel rejected.

When an adoptee does make contact with her birth mother to be rejected the feelings that she is experiencing feels, that it is over before it even started. The door was closed so quickly in your face before you even had a chance to say a word. The pain and grief that sweep over you feels unbearable. Your hopes and dreams of a happy reunion vanish before your eyes. You set wandering how... more

Fear can be a major emotion during reunion that an adoptee can be faced with at every turn. The thought of searching can bring up all kinds of fears. You hear all those "what if" questions running through your head.

What if they do not want to see you? What if I am not what they hoped for? What if I never find them?

The thoughts of fear can keep adoptees from searching for their birth families. The fear of what an adoptee can find about their birth parents and themselves. The fear the door will be closed before it is ever opened can be very overwhelming for an adoptee.

The fear of being rejected can also be a major concern for an adoptee. The fear of your birth mother... more

This is the beginning of a series talking about the emotions that an adoptee may feel in the beginning of the search to the reunion. I am not saying that every adoptee will experience these feelings.

Happiness for some adoptees can be found through reunions with their birth families. An adoptee may go in with the hope of learning answers to so many questions and find out so much more. Some adoptees click right away with their birth families, while other adoptees struggle and have to work at the relationship for it to be successful.

Finding your birth family after searching will be a very happy occasion. Most adoptees spend a large amount of time searching and hoping to find... more