After I learned the truth about my birth mother and family, I did not want to talk about it any more. I had to find a way within myself to deal with it. My mom would asked me a few times was I okay and did I want to talk. She stepped back and gave me time and space to work through it which was probably very hard for her. But this was my journey to take.

Does the pain and grief go away? No, but you learn to move along as do others when they are faced with losing a loved one. The grief that I feel of not knowing my older brother could easily consume me, if I made that choice. The truth is, it is what it is and I cannot change things so I must move on. Yes, the grief will always... more

Some adoptees struggle to maintain a connection to their culture. Knowing and being involved with the culture of their home countries can allow them to feel a sense of self, their past, heritage, and their birth families. There are ways for adoptive parents to help the adoptee learn and feel connected to their culture.

The culture needs go beyond foods, material things, holidays, and language. Not that these things are not important to the adoptee’s culture but you can make it so much more.

Culture camps can be a great benefit for two reasons, one learning more details about their cultures. The best reason is the meeting other children of the same culture. Being with other... more

Adoptive parents can be a great asset for building relationships between their children. Below, I will share with you ideas and ways to help build or strengthen relationships for the adoptee and other siblings.

Having one of the siblings teach something to the other one i.e. reading, drawing, counting, it can be anything. This can cause a healthy reaction and leads to bonding. Have them learn a new sport or skill together. This can allow them time together learning and practicing; this can be dancing, gymnastics, swimming, piano, painting. This can be anything that you think they both would enjoy doing. I have tried this with my two daughters; they... more

This seems to be a question that I am asked a lot. When I was first asked this several years ago, I thought it was a strange question. How could a person not know how to make a child happy and raise an adjusted person? Then, when I started thinking in detail about doing foster care and adoption, I realized why people would ask the question.

If you are raising siblings or more than one adopted child, understand that they each have very different thoughts, ideas, emotions, issues and needs concerning being adopted. Never say anything negative about a child’s birth family. She may understand that her birth mother was a drug addict and abandoned... more

As an adoptee you may be dealing with a whole number of emotions. Some emotions come with great intensity and other emotions not so much. You head may be swimming trying to process your feelings.

You may not have anyone to talk about your feelings as an adoptee, or you do not feel comfortable sharing your most inner thoughts. It could be that it is difficult for you to open up with people about something that is so personal.

Journaling can be therapeutic outlet for you. Writing down you thoughts and feelings can help you through your emotions. It can be easier to write than talking about your feelings. It can be a way to not feel threatened with allowing your thoughts to... more

Grief for adoptees is pretty common or truly part of adoption. With every adoptee, the grief will be totally different, from the reason he or she is grieving to the degree of intensity.

Below are ways to deal with grief that as an adoptee you might be feeling:

1. Allow yourself to grieve without feeling guilt. Some people do not understand that an adoptee may feel grief even if he or she had a wonderful happy life through adoption. Even if an adoptee chooses not to deal with his or her grief, it does not mean it will go away. The grief will remain tucked away and will stay with you until you allow yourself to go through it.

2. Talking about your feelings can... more

The thought of meeting your birth mother or father can bring up so many different emotions for you deal with. You can be nervous that the visit will not be what you want, that you may say the wrong thing or that you will not be the child that your birth mother or father had pictured in their mind. You can be happy to meet the person that gave you life, and you are developing a relationship with your birth mother or father. You can be scared that your birth mother or father will not be the person that you think they are or want them to be, there will be no lasting connection or they will want more than you can give. You may feel totally different emotions at any given time or all of them... more