A 13 year old adoptee, Kia, returned to her birth country, China, for a visit. She was 2 years old the last time she was in China. She did not have many memories to recall since she was adopted at a young age. The only thing she talked about from China was a rainbow bird. Her adoptive parents made arrangements for their visit to China along with the agency they used for the adoption.

The agency gives adoptive families the opportunity to travel together to their children’s birth country. The adoptive families are responsible for their own expenses. Traveling with other adoptive families makes them not feel like tourists... more

Sometimes, the media and others paint adoptees as having major issues from psychological needs, consumed with anger, depression, etc. Yes, some adoptees may have dealt with these issues from time to time, but for the most part, their lives are not controlled by these things. There are a few adoptees that are unable to move beyond these issues, that I do understand.

In every walk of life, there are people struggling with issues, but that does not mean that everyone in that walk of life is also struggling. It is funny, sometimes it is like everyone else expects adoptees to be angry and even have issues with being adopted.

This leads one to wonder why others want, expect,... more

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I did talk with my doctor (one I have been with for years) about what we were told. To my surprise she stated that she already thought my daughter was mixed for the entire year she had been treating her. I responded, “Why didn’t you say anything to me?” She responded, “ I did not think it mattered to you.” I said, “It does not matter. I would have liked you to share this with me instead of being the last to know. It seems so crazy I never thought of it. How do I begin to think about explaining this to her one day?” My doctor said the most helpful and amazing thing to me.... more

Reality is that a lot of adoptees will grow up in transracial homes, different ethic siblings, or themselves being a mixed race. I have been educating myself concerning adoptees facing these challenges. There will be things that come up occasional (maybe a lot) concerning differences in a transracial family.

Some adoptive parents know from the “get go” that they want to adopt children of another race, while others are open to the idea and then there are a few of us that stumbles into it or it just works out that way.

I was one of the stumbling ones. I never thought of race when I looked at one of my toddlers that I adopted. We were blessed to foster a baby girl that we... more

Our science is now leading adoptees down a different road with some new twist and turns along the way. These adoptees are coming of age choosing to search for their beginnings. These are the first adoptees to make their way or deal with complex beginnings. These are adoptees are conceived from donated eggs or/and sperm.

Donated eggs produced a set of twin girls to the mother Carrie that carried them. The egg donor or as the twin girls call her “Egg Mom” was a strapped grad student that turned into a college teacher. They exchanged notes and gifts through the clinic anonymously.... more

Some adoptees will fit into this expectation, while others do not fit. The problem is where the adoptees fit into when they do not meet other's expectations. We cannot all be the same.

Adoptees are waiting for the moment that they can be reunited with their birth families. Adoptees long to reconnect and become the child that was given up so many years ago. Adoptees are looking for a mother and father. There are life long struggles that adoptees are haunted by due to adoption. Most adoptees are against adoption. Our birth families are the typical parents and families waiting for us to return with open arms. An adoptee’s life is all about loss from adoption.

Adoptive families... more

How should an adoptee feel and react is something a lot of people have their own ideas about? It seems there is some unknown and unseen (to us - adoptees) map that everyone else knows all about that states what path in life an adoptee should take, how we should feel, and what we should say.

It is like if some adoptees do not fit in this image then there is something wrong with them they are not the “normal” adoptees. The dynamics of every adoption is different and not every adoptee will fit in the image of an “adoptee” that is out there.

It is so easy to project our thoughts, beliefs, needs, and desires on to others. In the post “Are... more

A large majority of foster care adoptions do not have ongoing contact with the birth families. It could be because of the reasons talked about in Foster Care Adoptees: Myths. It could also be because the adoptees cannot deal with the trauma that comes with the contact with their birth families.

It is different in each case and what may work for someone, will not work for the next person. One child that we have adopted through foster care has never had birth parent... more

I received a comment that more or less, that foster adoptees are different because they are still connected to their birth families and child keep their “original names”. This is not the truth for the majority of foster care adoptees. People seem to be surprised that foster adoption is no different than any other adoption.

Foster adoptees do have more obstacles to overcome due to the trauma of abuse and neglect. A lot of foster adoptees are faced with a childhood filled with therapies to help them learn to deal with the anger and rage they feel... more

A birth father shares blood ties to his child, DNA connection, and genetics. A birth father was the creator of life for the child, which I myself am grateful of.

I was no different than any other little girl growing up; I was daddy’s little girl. I have never as a child or now as an adult even thought of my dad as anything but my daddy surely not as adoptive or adopter. I can honestly say for this adoptee the lack of DNA or genetic connection to my dad has no bearing on my thoughts, love, feelings, etc. My over 70 year-old dad still... more