Who's Adoption Story is it to Tell?

I was talking to my sister who is also adopted about her feelings concerning others sharing her adoption journey and information. I was quite surprised when she told me that she was a little shocked that I have been so open, honest and shared so many details about my adoption journey and that of my children.

When I took this writing “gig”, I wanted to be as open as I could about being an adoptee and the challenges, issues and heartache that... more

Boundaries in adoption can sometimes be very hazy. What part of the adoption information and details belongs to whom? It is common for adoptees to go through times that they do not want to share their adoption journey and some adoptees do not feel comfortable sharing it at all.

I remember when I was in my late teens (18 or 19ish) we were at church function, a person that was visiting came up out the clear blue sky and asked about me being adopted. I was surprised to say the least and quickly learned that my mother had told her. I was thrown for a loop for a couple of... more

With November approaching, I find myself thinking of the fast approaching holiday season which will be here before we know it. This is my favorite time of year even with all the business and stress that this time of year brings. I find myself every year reminiscing of the holidays of my childhood remembering all the family festivals and all the cherished thoughts I have of those days. Family time together is what it is all about. These are the moments that cannot be replaced and will be remembered for years to come.

While this year I am dealing with some painful issues I have to lock them away for myself... more

The journey and experiences we go through in life all have meaning. All of things have an impact on the person we become. Even the challenges, losses, and heartbreaks of life teach us lessons.

While I do understand and agree that adoption does have an impact on our life experiences and the person we become, but it should not be only about that. While some adoptees talk about searching for who they are, the truth is this person already exists. Yes, there are pieces of our lives that are missing but does that change your existence?

We all, including people not adopted, go through different points in life searching for who we are or at some point in life we lose sight of... more

My mom (adoptive) taught me how to be a strong independent woman and that I was capable of taking care of myself. As a child, we had a pretty normal mother- daughter relationship. I have wonderful memories of my childhood. I have always been closer to my dad, but I loved my mom to pieces.

As I became an adult our relationship became a little rocky. Probably for a number of reasons that we both share the responsibility for, I am not sure when the problems began. My parents got a divorce and she thought there was no neutral. You were for or against her.

Since this event,... more

As a child I developed a love of animals that continues to this day. If I had a bad day at school or was just struggling with things, I could be found with my cats, dogs, horse, pet cow, or any other stray animal that I adopted. They are truly what I connected with. With them I did not feel different. When a lot of people know you are adopted and talk about it you can find yourself feeling that way. This is a love that I share with my dad (adoptive).

My parents instilled in me at a young age that I could do anything that I wanted to, and to believe in myself. My parents let me... more

A wedding day is a very important occasion which will include a lot of memories one day. This is no different for adoptees, except maybe a few more wishful thoughts about this special day.

A young adoptee bride lost her mother at the young age of 8 years old to breast cancer. Her father went on to remarry and after some time her step mother adopted the girl and her brother. The adoptive mother picked up the pieces and became the mother that these... more

Virginia has initiated a new law “Putative Father Registry” this month. It allows men that have had sexual relations with a woman other than his wife if married, to record the encounter in case a pregnancy happens. This allows him to block any adoptions in the future without his knowledge.

A man can go file a report about their relations with their girlfriend, mistress, their one night stand, etc. online with the state. There is no limit to how many times he reports encounters.... more

Siblings’ forming a life long relationship through adoption is a beautiful thing to watch grow and blossom. This is a very important thing for the adoptees and biological children to bond and make memories. Some siblings struggle with making and maintaining relationships with their siblings. Parents can be a great help helping siblings bond.

The truth is that it is not always easy adding children of different ages, backgrounds and needs to an already made family. By... more

In the grand scheme of things in adoption, is the title that you want others to call you so important. Is the title for the general public to call you or is it for the adoptee? By the way I have never been crazy about the title adoptee. Truthfully this is the only place I refer to myself or even others as adoptees. The title adoptee is what it is.It is just a way to identify a person that has been adopted nothing more or less. Seriously, I cannot see myself introducing myself as Abby the adoptee.

Using the title, "first mother", seems kind of strange. Would you also call your spouse... more