When looking into the mirror one day you do not recognize the person you are looking at. Some adoptees begin talking about feelings of not knowing who they are, lost and disconnected, etc. Personally I think society looks for reasons to place blame when things do not go as planned. I am always amazed to hear all the things adoption is blamed for. When the truth is that other (meaning not adoptees) people have the same issues, struggles or challenges that adoptees face.

This makes you stop and think could this just be a part of life and does not necessarily have... more

Some adoptees do not feel the need to reconnect, search or develop a relationship with their birth parents. Granted there are more adoptees that do want contact with their birth parents but there are a few that do not have this desire for whatever reason. Yes, this can seem very strange to different members of the adoption triad.

Adoptees that are content with their lives and do not have the desire for contact with their birth parents should not be made to feel pushed aside. It is very easy to portray to these adoptees that there is a problem with them... more

Differences as Adoptee and Adoptive Mom with Conversations

As an adoptee, the second area is how I tend to be. Why? Maybe it was something to do with the society’s view towards adoptees: Something has to be wrong with them for their own mother not to want or love them. With adoption will come a whole host of mental problems facing the adoptees. Adoptees tend to be messed up people. Etc. The truth is that you cannot have a conversation with someone that looks... more

While reading Jenna’s blog; Handling Uncomfortable Conversations, it got me to thinking as an adoptee and adoptive mother. While I was commenting on her blog I was thinking of conversations I have from two very different viewpoints. I found myself realizing that I am very different when handling the conversations that tend to put adoption and triad members in a negative light very differently.

One area I am blunt, take nothing, put you in your place without... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else - Coping

The needs and desires of birth parents can add to an already stressful situation with even trying to get to know them and develop an ongoing relationship. Some birth mothers, who are dealing with privacy issues, do not want to discuss or have adoptees involved with the birth fathers. Refusing the adoptees the birth father connection can be very hurtful to adoptees. When birth parents desire the parental... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else - Needs

So as you can see adoptees are darned if they do and darned if they do not, when it is adoption issues and choices, pretty sad when you think about it. The birth and adoptive parents choose this adoption journey in their lives but the adoptees did not. Others made life changing choices for us. When the truth is that the adoptees are living the life we were dealt by ours. We want to please our parents... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else

The adoptive parents need to know that they will always have a place in our life for them. They are our parents no matter what. They do not what to be shut out of part of our life. They want to protect us from possible hurt, etc. which is all realistic for them to feel. We also know that our adoptive parents have their own fears about our relationship with our birth families and we do realize it even when they try... more

It can be difficult for adoptees to navigate through the adoption journey when so many people are added to the mix. We are the person standing in the middle of it all. Everyone wants or needs something from the adoptees. Which is not a bad thing but it can be overwhelming at times. I am not saying what they want or need is wrong or bad in anyway for anybody involved.

Adoptees (most) carry around baggage throughout their lives, some more than others while others have very minimal baggage. Could this be why adoptees have such strong feelings about adoption and... more

In Missouri, the weight of a person has become a factor in adoption. Sandra talked about this happening in Australia in her international adoption blog. It seemed unreal that it would happen in the United States.

A foster parent that is licensed, provided kinship foster placement for an infant cousin that the birth mother was unable to care for. The couple went to family court to adopt the baby they were caring for... more

Poverty is an aspect of adoption that some people do not want to face. It is a large factor in adoption throughout the world. Some people think it should not be part of adoption without addressing the problem that so many families struggle with.

Even in the United States, poverty is a part of the adoption scene. Look at our foster care system. It is full for children that have lived with poverty, neglect, and abuse. We have resources to help people find their way out of poverty if they choose to in this country.

Other countries do not have the resources to assist families, leaving children vulnerable. The poverty that other countries face we cannot even begin to imagine.... more