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I definitely wasn’t given any special treatment because of being adopted. I was, indeed, the black sheep of my family in many ways but being that every family I knew had a black sheep (and none of them were adopted... though they had their suspicions...) it never even occurred to me that it was because I was adopted. I was different because I was me, and everybody’s “me” is different, so of... more

Something strange happened on my way to my inbox... instead of arriving safely at the sign-in page, I instead was bounced to the adoption store. I hadn’t realized there was such a thing as an adoption store, but then again, other than actually being adopted, and even that thirty-seven years ago, I haven’t exactly been in the adoption scene inner circle. Balloons, personalized books, T-shirts; everything one could (or could not) imagine are available there. Some of those things seemed very useful resources and tools whether you are a birth parent,... more

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There are a few more ideas that I believe could go a long way to addressing some of the issues raised by the M Fray. The concern that children lose their heritage by being taken to other countries because of adoption can be true. I have seen children still living in their original country with their adoptive American parents have no connection to their culture,... more

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Back to analysis and next steps...

Grains of learning and improvement from the M Fray can be harvested not just by Malawian law and adoption officials, but also by the international adoption community. Malawi is not the only place where “legal-style adoption is a foreign concept,” with systems flush with a different set of dynamics than the Amero-European norm.... more

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If the M Fray is the harbinger of important laws and issues not only being discussed, but positive changes made in the mass of ambiguity and lack of attention to real-life, post-AIDS orphan issues in Malawi, then to me, the M Fray has been worth the drama. As a Malawian professor... more

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I have this thing… no, it’s not a disease (well, at least I think it’s not.) My thing is that I believe that anyone, EVERYONE, should be allowed to complain and rant and get up on soap boxes and poke holes in everything around them … BUT … I believe that somewhere in there, the privilege of the rant requires that some conclusions are drawn and what remains in the transitional ether is the... more

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I believe that many of the other contradictions come from the very genteel nature of most Malawians, a nature that can be summed up in two words: "no problem."

Even if there is a huge problem, most Malawians will say "there is no problem, but…" They will then proceed to tell about the problem that isn’t supposed to be a problem, periodically insisting, "but there is no problem" throughout the... more

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There is plenty of irony in the central complaint that Madonna used her influence to expedite the process and waive requirements. I can attest to the fact that “rule bending” is an art form in Malawi. It permeates just about every fiber of life on some level or another, INCLUDING adoption prior to the M Fray. “Rule bending” can be required to get the proper medical... more

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Let’s take a look at the main issues that are being raised by the Human Rights Consultative Committee (HRCC), a coalition of sixty-seven human rights non- governmental organizations (NGOs) surrounding the M Fray. The following is a collection of quotes given mainly by the chairman of the HRCC:

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From Idi Amin to apartheid to the Rwandan genocide to Robert Mugabe to female genital mutilation to the Janjaweed in Darfur, significant and disturbing human rights abuses are, to some, nearly synonymous with modern Africa. Indeed, there are many human rights abuses great and small plaguing the continent (and yes, the entire world, U.S. of A. included.)

Malawi, though never... more