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I have to believe that I will know when the time is right and when my daughter can deal with the horrible facts that she will face. So, I cannot say I will give her the information when she turns 18 years old; she needs to be grounded with herself and in life to deal with the facts.

Even if adoptees are faced with dark secrets or horrible facts concerning their past, or how they came to be, they still have the right to know of their past. No one has the right, to decide what is best for someone else.

The big thing for adoptees in their search for information is not to go in expecting a happy story, go expecting to hear some difficult things. This... more

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It is possible to, as they say open “Pandora’s Box” and things are not what you hoped for and imagined. It also could turn out to be a truly wonderful experience and one where you build a lasting relationship with your birth parents.

My daughter and son that we adopted through foster care came with a file about five inches thick. It starts when CPS came into the picture, ends at their adoption and also has birth family information that is provided to the adoptive parents. My daughter’s facts in the file are very different than her brother’s. For me to read about the past especially my daughter’s was at times more than I could bare, I would have to put... more

Do adoptees have the right to information about their adoption? What if you are an adoptee born in the time when birth mothers where promised, her identity would be protected? What if people know that the information about your past can be very painful for you?

Adoptees have the right to their information just as anyone else does. It is easier to process being adopted when you have an ideal of the beginning of your life. It should not be up to the court system, adoption agencies, or anyone else to decide if it is right for an adoptee to receive information about their adoption and birth parents. Yes, there was a time that it was believed that it would be best for everyone involved... more

This is a very common thing for people to say when they find out your children are adopted. I personally have been told this on a number of different times concerning my children. This is a comment I also remember hearing a lot as a child when people found out I was adopted.

As a young child, I never real understood the comment and felt it was a strange thing for people to say. As I got older, it bothered me. If it was not for luck I did not matter. Luck, how did that involve me? I was lucky that I found my lost glove on the bus. So, without luck I did not matter. My other thoughts about this, was something so wrong with me that I was lucky that my adoptive parents took me. ... more

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To wish I had not been adopted would be to wish him out of my life, which would break my heart. I am a true Daddy’s Little Girl even at the age of 36, we talk several times a day on the phone. I knew as a teenager that I was given the amazing gift of adoption through my parents and I knew that I would one day adopt a child. I believe in my family we have a circle of love that continues on through adoption. I would feel honored one day to get a phone call from one of my children saying that they were going continue the circle of love through adoption.

The adoption of my children has been an amazing and wonderful blessing in my life. I am blessed with... more

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I do not know everything about my neighbor’s lives, family situations and I don’t know personal information about my children‘s teacher’s family life, so why should my family business (including adoption) be public knowledge and gossip?

We have one bio daughter and three adopted children. A number of people know this but they do not know or remember which is which. I think it is funny when someone asks which ones are adopted because you cannot tell. What differences does it make which one is born of me and which ones were born for me? I usually just laugh the question off and say it does not really matter which are adopted. I do not go up to a pregnant... more

Some questions have risen about how I view my personal adoption and the adoption of my children. So, below I will highlight the question and then answer it below.

Personally, are you ashamed or embarrassed to be adopted? Is it something that you wish hadn't happened to you? There seems to be something in your blogs that is a bit like 'I would give anything if this wasn't true'. Do I misunderstand what you are saying?

I am absolutely not ashamed or embarrassed to be adopted. Being adopted was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I do not have issues with being adopted. I have discussed feelings that a lot of adopted children and adults... more

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So to me it is not luck, chance, are the way things happen, it was the purpose of our lives, we just had to find our way to each other. This wonderful nurse had a special needs son at home so she did understand A. more and really connected to her. She was our nurse when she worked and A. called when she said good bye to her when it was time to leave. Milly (our nurse) also got teary eyed and told A. that she was the best and her favorite patient that she has ever had.

It is still so strange is see people react to adoption and the wide range of emotions it brings out in people. To me adoption is a very precious gift that some are blessed to experience and... more

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From this point on, this lady was very different with A. She was very kind but still somewhat reserved, but she always made a point to talk to her when she came into the room. She would tell her how pretty she was, and that her curly hair was beautiful. I sit wondering late that night long after she had went home, “Why did A. being adopted affect her and seem to bother her?” I wondered if adoption had been part of her past, she seemed to have such a hard time saying the word “adopt” I wandered if she had been a birth mother that had to give up her child. After our talk about A. adoption... more

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I could tell she was dying to ask me something when she was listening to the nurse talk to me about adoption. Finally after taking the biggest part of the day, she came in to bring extra linens for my daughter and then started tidy up (really just moving things around). She had her back to me and asked if she could ask me a question. I responded yes. She asked, “Why would you do it?” To me a strange question and what was “it”. Okay, I kind of knew she was talking about adoption, but to say “it” and to phrase the question like that, kind of ruffled me. Adoption is not an “it” neither is my daughter an “it”. I responded, “Do what?” She said, “Why would you take... more