With November approaching, I find myself thinking of the fast approaching holiday season which will be here before we know it. This is my favorite time of year even with all the business and stress that this time of year brings. I find myself every year reminiscing of the holidays of my childhood remembering all the family festivals and all the cherished thoughts I have of those days. Family time together is what it is all about. These are the moments that cannot be replaced and will be remembered for years to come.

While this year I am dealing with some painful issues I have to lock them away for myself... more

My mom (adoptive) taught me how to be a strong independent woman and that I was capable of taking care of myself. As a child, we had a pretty normal mother- daughter relationship. I have wonderful memories of my childhood. I have always been closer to my dad, but I loved my mom to pieces.

As I became an adult our relationship became a little rocky. Probably for a number of reasons that we both share the responsibility for, I am not sure when the problems began. My parents got a divorce and she thought there was no neutral. You were for or against her.

Since this event,... more

Siblings’ forming a life long relationship through adoption is a beautiful thing to watch grow and blossom. This is a very important thing for the adoptees and biological children to bond and make memories. Some siblings struggle with making and maintaining relationships with their siblings. Parents can be a great help helping siblings bond.

The truth is that it is not always easy adding children of different ages, backgrounds and needs to an already made family. By... more

In the grand scheme of things in adoption, is the title that you want others to call you so important. Is the title for the general public to call you or is it for the adoptee? By the way I have never been crazy about the title adoptee. Truthfully this is the only place I refer to myself or even others as adoptees. The title adoptee is what it is.It is just a way to identify a person that has been adopted nothing more or less. Seriously, I cannot see myself introducing myself as Abby the adoptee.

Using the title, "first mother", seems kind of strange. Would you also call your spouse... more

A birth father shares blood ties to his child, DNA connection, and genetics. A birth father was the creator of life for the child, which I myself am grateful of.

I was no different than any other little girl growing up; I was daddy’s little girl. I have never as a child or now as an adult even thought of my dad as anything but my daddy surely not as adoptive or adopter. I can honestly say for this adoptee the lack of DNA or genetic connection to my dad has no bearing on my thoughts, love, feelings, etc. My over 70 year-old dad still... more

How does an adoptee include his or her adoptive and birth family in special events in his or her life without problems? I have been asked to address this issue. There is not a simple answer and it can vary with each family and event.

There will be major events graduation, marriage or birth of a child that you may want to include your adoptive and birth family. Hopefully, your adoptive family is somewhat accepting of your birth family. Maybe they are not friends with you birth family but they understand that your birth family is important to you and you want them in your life.

Talking with your adoptive parents is the first step. Explain to them that you would like to... more

So much can affect how a child deals with being adopted. I believe that the adoptive parents have the greatest impact on this.

As the adoptive parents, you set the foundation of your child’s journey. Wording can be everything. Telling a child the reason that their birth mother gave them up was because it was an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, may cause negative feelings. Yes, this is probably a pretty common reason, which I do understand. What a child may hear is that they were unwanted which might also mean unloved to that child. I do not believe most adoptive parents want their children thinking this of their birth parents, they are trying for the most part to be honest... more

I know I am late with My Love Thursday but I was unable to post last night because of the system. I still wanted to share, so I am posting a day late, sorry.

Oh, how one person had such an effect on my life and still does. I have learned so unbelievably much from this person. I know I can face just about anything with him standing beside me. I believe in myself, and I know that I can accomplish what I set my mind to, because he believes in me.

When I have faced the dark valleys of life, I knew I was not alone. When my husband lay in an ICU hospital bed and I had to call in his family because they did not believe he would make it. A couple of days... more

Continued......

Most mothers would give their own life to protect their children whether they are adopted are not. She asked, “If something happened to you while you were protecting your little ones, how do you think L (my bio daughter) would feel?” I believe that she would not question what I did (maybe what happened) and that she would know I did what I had to as a mother. She respond, “You really do not see or feel a difference between your children.” I know that if my bio daughter and young adopted daughter were in the street fixing to be hit by a car, I would get them out of the way or be hit myself. I asked, “You have three daughters and one is mentally retarded that will... more

It is strange that others cannot understand how a person loves a child or even an adult, without that person carrying part of their DNA.

Yes, our society has changed somewhat on adoption but there is still a lot of miss information and prejudice.

People cannot believe that there are no differences with my bio daughter and my other adopted children. I had one person ask me, “If I could only save one of my children, would I save my bio daughter.” I was asked this when the Russian school a few years ago was held hostage and the kidnappers made mothers choose between their children. At first I was very upset for a couple of reasons. First, because the person asking was a friend... more