This journey can bring to the surface some thoughts and feelings that may have not been felt in the past. Along with the pregnancy hormones and then trying to process these feelings can be a lot to deal with.

This is written from the point of view of an adopted mother to be.

When you learn that you are expecting a baby, there are so many emotions that you may feel and then, on top of that, the feelings about your own birth and adoption begin to surface. Boy, these are not the emotions that you think about when you learn that you are pregnant. A few weeks along the way I had found myself thinking about what my birth mother experienced and thought while pregnant with me.... more

The thought of parenthood can seem overwhelming to some adoptees. I have known adoptees who did not want to have children. The thought of what kind of parent they would be played a part in the choice. Feeling unable to bond with others, the thought that he or she would be an unfit parent, feelings about his or her past abandonment issues and other thoughts can make one question their ability to be a parent.

On the other hand, some adoptees cannot wait to be parents and feel that they will be great parents. This does not mean parenthood may not bring up some thoughts and feelings about being adopted.

Why do adoptees have such extreme feelings on parenthood? How one was... more

Every time an adoptee goes to a doctor appointment or other medical appointment, the words you dread hearing are “What is your family history?” This lack of medical information is also carried to the adoptee’s children. There comes a point that adoptees and their family do wish they knew more medical facts about their birth families, maybe it is because they discover that he or she are facing a major illness. Having a child born with birth defects can lead to someone wanting to know more about his or her past and birth family.

I know an adoptee that was not bothered by not having any medical information about her birth family. When her daughter became very ill and was faced with... more

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The beginning of my being may not have been the ideal or best of circumstances, but I know it is what it is and I cannot change it nor do I want to. Being born to a mother that chose drugs, men and bad life choices other than her unborn baby, is not something someone wants to hear but again it is what is. Choosing to not allow the negatives of your being for the beginning to control or cast a dark shadow over your life is the important thing. The birth mother that placed an unborn baby at such risk for a life filled with unknown possible effects of her choices would have on her unwanted baby; I have made peace with her choices. I cannot lie that was the hardest... more

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Getting stuck or hung up on being adopted is the worse thing for an adoptee. Allow yourself to go through all the different emotions that one may feel, but not be consumed by them. Do not allow what other people say or think about adoption affect your feelings concerning being an adoptee. So many people talk before thinking about what they are saying or how it will affect others. The images of adoption and the people that are involved with it are not always portrayed in a positive light in this life. It is up to each one of us to look for understanding of our adoption,... more

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The truth is just that, with it you have to accept the things you have no control over. Yes, this can be difficult for one to accept and find peace with, but it is what it is and everyone deserves to know the truth about their life from the beginning.

Dealing and accepting your adoption can be a lengthy journey that changes from time to time. One person may need the support of counseling where another may find peace much easier. The thing to remember is there is not a wrong or a right way for one to feel or to deal with being adopted. You have to find something... more

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The other sad side is that an adoptee may be faced with is a birth mother with an unwanted pregnancy or child. As I have stated before in a past blog, and know that it sounds harsh, but in some cases it is the truth. When you deal with foster care adoption you probably see this more often. A had a bio mother that had lost four children as toddlers and babies to foster care, she continued with making bad choices in her life with drugs abuse, abusing her children, placing them in dangerous situations, and losing her children did not seem to make a difference to her. When... more

This is something that takes time and will not happen overnight. The effects will have different impact on everyone involved and every adoption. The way one person may find peace with being adopted may not work for another. Things and feelings also change as you get older, going through different phases of your life, and learning more information about your adoption leads to more to process.

As a child you have basic information about why and the reasons surrounding your adoption. As you become a young adult, most likely you will have information about your past, reasons surrounding your adoption. These can be different as night and day for some.

A number of adoptees are... more

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My opinion is adoption may have affected her life along with some heartache, but she created her own misery because she continued to hold on to the pain and it became her life. That was her choice not her birth parents or adoptive parents. So, the reality is there will also be adoptees that have pain and major issues with being adopted because of bad parenting not adoption it’s self.

Good adoption is something you do not hear so much about. Maybe it is just viewed as a happy normal childhood and you just happen to be adopted. If we are happy we do not go searching why we are happy, we just want to be happy. I have never really thought about my adoption... more

Every adoption is different and every adoptee will have totally different experiences. I think we can all be honest that there are good ones and bad ones. It seems that we hear a lot about bad adoption and adoptees that have major issues with being adopted.

First, let’s admit that there is good and bad in everything in life including parenting and yes, even adoptive parenting. When adoptive parents turn out to be bad parents due to poor parenting, maybe not adopted for the right reasons and maybe they are not involved with their children at all, it does not really have anything to do with adoption. They would be bad parents whether they parented bio children or adoptive children,... more