This thought holds intense feelings, beliefs and strong emotions by everyone involved with adoption. Could this be a child’s way of denial? Is it an embarrassment?

Children want one thing, not to be different and to fit in with everyone else. So, when being labeled as being adopted, it can make this very difficult. I do not think it has to do with any of the questions above, I think it has more to do with the child, him or herself. I remember as a child that my mom made statements or it came up in conversation with people on several occasions that we were adopted while we were present in the room. It really bothered me to hear my most private personal thing flow... more

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Yes, we all have trauma and demons that we have been dealt but it is how we deal with them. I am no different than others, I have my own demons that I still struggle with but I choose not to let my demons control me and the outcome of my life.

We all have demons that we face (even the people that are not adopted) and they may not have a thing to do with being adopted. People are haunted by relationships, lack of money, not being accepted, loss of loved ones, abuse, loneliness, fear of the unknown, struggling with their weight, rejection, and the list can go on and on. It is up to us if we let the demons control our lives.

I believe as adoptive parents... more

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As a teenager, I did not talk about being adopted or want to talk about it. During this time in my life I just pushed it out of my mind, maybe too much to deal with while going through the horrible teenage stage of life. I am not saying it did not creep in occasionally but for the most part I chose not to deal with it. At this point in my life I was not emotional able to be with it.

As a young adult, adoption had a large impact on my life. I knew that I was given a wonderful chance through adoption and it was up to me how I chose to let it impact me. I wanted... more

It will impact your life in a number of different ways. Some allow it to impact their life way too much and that is all their life is about.

It does impact you as a child how you see yourself and how others see you. You know that you are different than other children. You have people that have a biological tie to you in this world, and you do not know a thing about them. You wonder what could make a mother not want or love her child. As a child I remember thinking what caused or what had I done for my birth mother not to love me. In my young mind, if she loved me she would want me and not have given me away. Then add on top of my feelings the views and attitude from the... more

I may have been adopted, but it is not who I am. I am more than that, maybe by personal choice, because I was adopted by parents that loved me or maybe both. Not every adopted child is that lucky. Reality is there are a number of bad, uncaring, and even abusive parents in this world, both adoptive and biological parents.

Being adopted changed things for me and in my life, but not life, the child I was or the adult that I have become. Kind of sounds silly?? Yes, I was different than most children in my school, I had questions, I was confused but at the end of the day I was still the same kid brushing my teeth staring back at myself. I even had thoughts and issues to work through... more

You would be surprised at how many times I’ve been asked this question. Occasionally by people that I am not close to (which is another whole subject in itself). I hate being asked this question for a lot of reasons. First, my adoptive mom and dad are my real parents. What exactly does” real parents” mean? What, are my adoptive parents pretend, or just filling in? To me this is a sad way the general public views adoption and the people that are involved in adoption.

To me my real parents are the ones that were there when I was sick as a child, the ones to help me buy my first car, the ones to take me to church, the ones who taught me love and how to be loved, they... more

I went to my favorite place near the edge of the lake with my rock in tow. Until that year, the adoption thing didn’t really move around my mind much, but as my body started changing, my moods started swinging and my social interactions grew more complicated (in that 12 year-old kind of way,) I started feeling like a complete freak. The best reason I could come up with was a cheapie, no imagination, but the easiest one to grab: “I’m adopted. My biological mother didn’t want me because I was a freak and my parents now don’t want me because I am a freak... more

Summer sun always did the illumination dance on the lake. I liked to squint and look as close to the bright, reflective bits as I could until sun spots blurred my eyes. I had begged to be allowed to go a year early to no avail, but my time finally came in June of 1982. I was 12 years-old and going to the summer camp where I had been desperate to go for three years. Truth told, the only reason I had been so obsessed was that it was where we took my older sister every summer … and I was well-immersed in the rigors of big-sister... more

The exponential growth of my concentric circles with each life step, each choice, has been staggering from my early diaper days of immediate family, a circle of five, but this is not extraordinary in the least. It has probably been the same for you. What also may have been the same for you and fascinating to me, is how many of the people in each growing circle have been related to adoption: either adoptees or birth mothers (I have never met an admitted birth father) or parents who have already adopted or want to adopt. The numbers... more

Like most people, as I was growing up my circle of acquaintances, friends and contacts grew and grew.

From just playing with the immediate neighbors and cousins, I went to a small Catholic school in our village with a class of twenty-or-so children. From that small elementary/middle school, I went to the public high school in our area where suddenly I had more than 300 classmates, not to mention inadvertently meeting loads of other people through various activities. After high school, I went to a small-ish... more