So much can affect how a child deals with being adopted. I believe that the adoptive parents have the greatest impact on this.

As the adoptive parents, you set the foundation of your child’s journey. Wording can be everything. Telling a child the reason that their birth mother gave them up was because it was an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, may cause negative feelings. Yes, this is probably a pretty common reason, which I do understand. What a child may hear is that they were unwanted which might also mean unloved to that child. I do not believe most adoptive parents want their children thinking this of their birth parents, they are trying for the most part to be honest... more

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She was upset because I had not shared that I was adopted. I explained that being adopted for me was just a small part of who I am and that for me it does not have a daily impact on my life. We talked about the differences we each shared about adoption. She was curious about how I found peace and dealt with it. I do not know how it came about for me. I believe that she got struck in the thoughts of what could have been if she was not adopted and that had taken over her life. There are phases, feelings and thoughts that you have when dealing with being adopted, which they are all natural. The problem arises when we cannot move beyond a phases, feelings or thoughts... more

Being adopted is not a subject I spend a lot of time talking about in my day to day life. My good friends now that I am adopted, I talk about it with them when they ask me questions. My best friend has a daughter that the child’s bio father has never seen her and being part of her life in any way. So, she ask me a lot of questions about how to discuss, how much to discuss with her. She has been concerned about things her daughter has asked her as she has gotten old, so we have talked about adoption a lot and the feeling of a loss that her daughter feels. When my close friends ask questions about me being adopted, I answer and do not mind talking bout being adopted.

People that I... more

This is a very common thing for people to say when they find out your children are adopted. I personally have been told this on a number of different times concerning my children. This is a comment I also remember hearing a lot as a child when people found out I was adopted.

As a young child, I never real understood the comment and felt it was a strange thing for people to say. As I got older, it bothered me. If it was not for luck I did not matter. Luck, how did that involve me? I was lucky that I found my lost glove on the bus. So, without luck I did not matter. My other thoughts about this, was something so wrong with me that I was lucky that my adoptive parents took me. ... more

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To wish I had not been adopted would be to wish him out of my life, which would break my heart. I am a true Daddy’s Little Girl even at the age of 36, we talk several times a day on the phone. I knew as a teenager that I was given the amazing gift of adoption through my parents and I knew that I would one day adopt a child. I believe in my family we have a circle of love that continues on through adoption. I would feel honored one day to get a phone call from one of my children saying that they were going continue the circle of love through adoption.

The adoption of my children has been an amazing and wonderful blessing in my life. I am blessed with... more

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I do not know everything about my neighbor’s lives, family situations and I don’t know personal information about my children‘s teacher’s family life, so why should my family business (including adoption) be public knowledge and gossip?

We have one bio daughter and three adopted children. A number of people know this but they do not know or remember which is which. I think it is funny when someone asks which ones are adopted because you cannot tell. What differences does it make which one is born of me and which ones were born for me? I usually just laugh the question off and say it does not really matter which are adopted. I do not go up to a pregnant... more

Some questions have risen about how I view my personal adoption and the adoption of my children. So, below I will highlight the question and then answer it below.

Personally, are you ashamed or embarrassed to be adopted? Is it something that you wish hadn't happened to you? There seems to be something in your blogs that is a bit like 'I would give anything if this wasn't true'. Do I misunderstand what you are saying?

I am absolutely not ashamed or embarrassed to be adopted. Being adopted was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I do not have issues with being adopted. I have discussed feelings that a lot of adopted children and adults... more

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I was in the middle of an ARD for my oldest daughter and her special ed. teacher announced that she did not know that my son was adopted. I was a little shocked since we had just moved to the area a few months before. I sat staring at her in shock that she would bring this up in front of others, how exactly was this related to my oldest daughter’s education special needs. Needless to say they could tell I was a little upset. I did remind everyone that anything discussed in an ARD was privileged information and I appreciated it if they would keep any information they had learned to themselves.

The teacher did apologize after the meeting. She explained that... more

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It is hard enough in junior high without a teacher making it more difficult for you. Only one of my friends knew I was adopted before my sister’s teacher decided to announce to the school that we both were adopted. I totally refused to discuss being adopted with anyone, even friends. I did learn that a couple of more girls that I was friendly with where also adopted but they did not want everyone to know.

Personally I believe it should up to the adopted child who and when to tell others about them being adopted. I did finally talk to my friends about being adopted but it had to be when I was ready and able to deal with the questions. Think about it,... more

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I remember in school my sister (also adopted) took Home Ec Class, the part about babies and such came up. Everyone had to bring their baby books and pictures as a newborn. This was part of an assignment. Another part of the assignment was a questionnaire about your birth. Being adopted makes getting your birth details a little hard. My sister tried to tell the teacher that she could not do the assignment and then the teacher said she would then receive a failing grade for the assignment. My mom had to write a note to the teacher explaining that she was adopted, so she... more