At times it seems like adoption is all doom and gloom for a whole number of reasons. You will have gloom in adoption just as everything else in this life. But gloom does not fill adoption as some would like others to believe. There are plenty of adoptees that have lived a happy and fulfilled life even with being adopted.

While there are a few adoptees that are scarred, wounded through adoption, this is not the case for most adoptees. Granted it is easy to wonder what kind of impact adoption will have on an adoptee when there seems to be so much negativity concerning... more

Adoption can mean so many things to different people. It also brings a lot of different emotions out in people. It is very personal to me because it is the foundation of my being. While it does not define who I am, it is a part of me. Adoption to me is life. It was the greatest gift that I have ever received. My birth mother gave me the opportunity of a future she could not provide for me at that point in her life.

I was blessed to be adopted with my sister and grow up together. Adoption provided me a normal childhood with all the experiences to go along with it too.... more

The most hurtful thing that brought home the feeling of second best, or really not even being that, was when I saw a copy of my family tree that other family members had done. I get to the page that my personal family information was on, and there is my name and my sister’s name with the words “adopted” beside them. This happened when I was maybe early twenties (yes, I know it was a long time ago) but still to this day it really brothers me.

I was completely shocked to see that I was not viewed as a member of the family or a person but as “adopted”. That day I learned that... more

Adoption can be a great and amazing way to build a family. A major concern of mine as an adoptee is that some potential adoptive parents do not research adoption before deciding to go down that road. While others believe the things they hear as gospel, without investigating on their own.

I had a friend state she would like to adopt a baby girl from China. I wondered why China? She said, “Because they do not have issues or problems and are beautiful.” Funny thing is, the few people she knows that have adopted have done so through domestic or foster care adoption.

We... more

I read a question concerning adopting the other day addressed to Dr. Joyce Brothers. A mother of a 3 year old was concerned that their daughter was an only child, and the mother cannot have any more children. The couple was thinking of adopting a playmate (their words, not mine) for their daughter. The mom stated they loved their daughter so much that they would be willing to adopt a permanent playmate for her (yes, this was their words).

This got me to thinking about adoptees that... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else - Coping

The needs and desires of birth parents can add to an already stressful situation with even trying to get to know them and develop an ongoing relationship. Some birth mothers, who are dealing with privacy issues, do not want to discuss or have adoptees involved with the birth fathers. Refusing the adoptees the birth father connection can be very hurtful to adoptees. When birth parents desire the parental... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else - Needs

So as you can see adoptees are darned if they do and darned if they do not, when it is adoption issues and choices, pretty sad when you think about it. The birth and adoptive parents choose this adoption journey in their lives but the adoptees did not. Others made life changing choices for us. When the truth is that the adoptees are living the life we were dealt by ours. We want to please our parents... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else

The adoptive parents need to know that they will always have a place in our life for them. They are our parents no matter what. They do not what to be shut out of part of our life. They want to protect us from possible hurt, etc. which is all realistic for them to feel. We also know that our adoptive parents have their own fears about our relationship with our birth families and we do realize it even when they try... more

It can be difficult for adoptees to navigate through the adoption journey when so many people are added to the mix. We are the person standing in the middle of it all. Everyone wants or needs something from the adoptees. Which is not a bad thing but it can be overwhelming at times. I am not saying what they want or need is wrong or bad in anyway for anybody involved.

Adoptees (most) carry around baggage throughout their lives, some more than others while others have very minimal baggage. Could this be why adoptees have such strong feelings about adoption and... more

In Missouri, the weight of a person has become a factor in adoption. Sandra talked about this happening in Australia in her international adoption blog. It seemed unreal that it would happen in the United States.

A foster parent that is licensed, provided kinship foster placement for an infant cousin that the birth mother was unable to care for. The couple went to family court to adopt the baby they were caring for... more