Adoptee

I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. My brothers and I were adopted at birth.  At a very young age, my parents lovingly explained that I was adopted and how special they felt being able to raise me. One night, when I was in high school, my mom drove me to church for an overnight retreat.  It was at that time she explained the details of my birth and the birth of my younger brothers.  I remember thinking that memorable night I had something very special to be thankful for. I have never felt abandoned, unwanted, or unloved.  I felt as normal as any of my childhood friends. I never knew my birth mom and I decided early on… [more]

Names are such an important part of who we are as individuals. I always find it interesting how most people really seem to "fit" their name. How many times have we heard people say that is a perfect name for so and so? Sometimes we know that our parents had more than one name picked out for us before we were born. Some parents may even have two or three names selected but decide to wait and see which name fits their baby - like my friends who selected both Neva and Claire as possible names. In the end they went with Neva. They also tried out several names on their son… [more]

Once again I'm continuing my series on search options and this post will focus on search angels. So far, I’ve looked at self-searching, confidential intermediaries, and mutual consent directories. In future posts I'll examine other search options such as independent intermediaries, agency assisted searching, independent search consultants, private investigators, search organizations and DNA testing. The first and most obvious question is, "what is a search angel?" A search angel is a volunteer who offers search assistance to adoptees and birth family members in their search. Search… [more]

I sometimes feel the way that John Raible described in his recent blog post.

I want so much to share my experiences with adoptive parents in order to help them be better parents to their adopted children. However, it is difficult to share my experiences and open myself up to harsh reactions. It is tiresome to have to justify my right to my opinions. It is tiresome to have to say "yes, I love my parents"… [more]

This weekend I came across an interesting blog post that brought up an important issue. Should adoptive parents tell their children about the cost of their adoption?   And how should parents explain it when it involved a discounted or special rate? As with most adoption related issues there is no right or wrong answer but as an adoptee I have strong feelings about this issue. The heart of this issue is really the cost of adoption and that is a bigger topic than I can address in this blog post. There is plenty of info on this topic all over the web. However, I do want to talk about the practice of a single agency… [more]

Sometimes I get behind on blog reading. I use a blog reader so unless I go in and check it regularly (which sometimes I don't) the posts can really start to pile up. I'm sure this is a familiar problem for many. Sometimes I just need a break from reading/thinking about adoption stuff. Sometimes I just get too busy. One of my problems is that I will read an interesting blog - which inevitably links to other interesting blogs and the next thing I know a few hours have gone by and I'm still reading. There is just so much good stuff out there (and a lot of not so good too but I… [more]

Today I'm continuing my series on search options and focusing on court appointed confidential intermediaries. There are also private intermediaries and I will discuss that in a future blog post. Last month I discussed self searching and mutual consent directories. In future posts I'll examine other search options such as independent intermediaries, agency assisted searching, independent search consultants, private investigators, search organizations and DNA testing. Typically, in a confidential intermediary system one party (usually the adoptee) petitions the court in the state of their adoption to allow a court appointed intermediary to view the adoption file, including identifying information and the original birth certificate… [more]

I have five brothers - three older, two younger. I really enjoyed being the only girl. The advantages are endless - no hand-me downs, no sharing a bedroom, no one to steal your Barbie dolls  (although I do recall a head or two was ripped off by someone in our house). I am closest in age to John, who is about 2 years younger than me. He is also biracial and was adopted from the same agency where my parents got me. In some ways I think our parents assumed that because we were both transracial adoptees and close in age that we'd be best friends, buddies. We'd have this common bond

Last month I wrote the first in a series of search options - self searching. Today I will look at mutual consent registries. In future posts I'll examine other search options such as court and independent intermediaries, agency assisted searching, independent search consultants, private investigators, search organizations and DNA testing. As more and more adult adoptees seek information about their adoption there have been some steps taken to assist in these searches. Some states have created mutual consent registries to help connect searching parties. There are also free, independent mutual consent registries, such as International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) and the Adoption.com Reunion Registry

I realize I'm a little late to the whole census discussion as it was discussed by Robyn already. And I've read about it on numerous other websites and in the media. The first time I heard the census form had separate categories for biological and adopted children I was surprised but sort of dismissed the issue. I was busy living my life and I pretty much let it roll off my back.